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# Maybe Closure Isn’t Something He Gives You
- URL: https://chosen.authorkclynch.com/maybe-closure-isnt-something-he-gives-you/
- Published: 2024-04-10T03:45:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-09-16T23:04:11.000Z
- Description: We tell ourselves we are waiting for closure. Sometimes we are really waiting for one more conversation with the person we are supposed to be learning how to live without.
- Author: S.
- Tags: closure, Chosen, Not Kept, heartbreak, healing, UNANSWERED QUESTIONS, Moving On, choosing yourself, RELATIONSHIPS3, letting go

*Someone asked me this week how you stop wanting answers from the person who hurt you.*

*I wish I knew.*

*Because there is something uniquely cruel about a relationship ending with questions still alive inside it.*

*Why wasn’t I enough?*

*When did you know?*

*Did you miss me after?*

*Did you almost call?*

*Was leaving as hard for you as it was for me?*

*And the most dangerous one:*

*If I finally understood why you did it, would it hurt less?*

*I used to think the answer was yes.*

*I thought there had to be some perfect conversation waiting somewhere in the future. One where every confusing choice was explained, every missing piece finally clicked into place, and I walked away from it feeling lighter.*

*Like understanding could somehow undo what happened.*

*But I’m starting to think that might be another way we keep ourselves tied to people who are no longer here.*

*We tell ourselves we’re waiting for closure.*

*Sometimes we’re really waiting for one more conversation.*

*One more reason to hear their voice.*

*One more chance for them to say something that makes the ending feel less final.*

*And maybe they do owe you answers.*

*Maybe they owe you ten of them.*

*That doesn’t mean you have to keep your life on hold until they decide to give them.*

*There are questions I still have.*

*Questions I could probably ask.*

*Questions I know exactly who could answer.*

*But I also know myself well enough to admit that hearing those answers might only create new questions.*

*Because when you loved someone deeply, there is rarely one sentence that makes the loss make sense.*

*There is just what happened.*

*What it cost.*

*And what you decide to do with your life afterward.*

*Maybe closure is not finally understanding why somebody hurt you.*

*Maybe it is realizing you can survive without understanding.*

*Maybe it is deciding that the unanswered question does not get to become the rest of your story.*

*I’m still learning this one.*

*Some days I’m better at it than others.*

*But I’m beginning to understand something important.*

***You do not need every answer to close a door. Sometimes closure is simply deciding you are done standing in the doorway waiting for someone else to explain why they left.***

*Until next Tuesday.*

*— S.*